Stuck in a time loop for money.

The Good and The Bad

People who are entering adulting in the modern world have 4 viable options to survive today-

1. Work (Duh)
2. Study (Delay the corporate/agency life from getting you by maximum 2 years)
3. Steal (Who are we kidding? Most of us feel guilty to ask for a leave at work)
4. Become an influencer (Skip if your fam are about college degrees/perceived status)

While I haven’t watched all time loop movies that are out there, but I did enjoy two great movies on the concept – Ground Hog Day (1993) and Palm Springs (2020). Movies from two different times, almost becoming the two ends of a horizontal axis, between which other content would most likely occupy their places (Please let me know if I have missed any movies before 1993 or after 2020).

The protagonists in both movies discover that they’re stuck in a day, everything resets in the morning including the people, everyone around them are doing the same things again and again, day after day. Our characters in focus are the only individuals to realise this and go through the phases of denial, fighting the reality, and finally accepting it. While Bill Murray’s classic ended on a happy note, the Andy Samberg-Cristin Milioti starrer had an ambiguous ending; were they still stuck? What about the dinosaurs eh?

Looking at my Mum who’s been in teaching for 25 years or my Uncle who’s had his business for 35 yrs, it’s a remarkable feat, those many years of one’s life dedicated to one trade? Unfathomable for the likes of me, who’s always looking at what’s next, ‘never able to settle in anywhere‘ is one way of putting it I guess.

Times have changed, work today no longer needs to fill in the survival need of individuals, where’s the passion in it? What’s the meaning of the work one does? Does it make a difference out there? And most importantly, how much hours of my life will it consume? Do I have to work weekends?

Well I do know of my peers who have settled in the work life; how do I know they have settled in? Because they had the balls to get EMIs against their salary, that’s how. That’s commitment. I’m not sure if this gets addressed, but these people are heroes in my eyes, committing years of their lives to get a fixed sum of money; amidst chaotic clients, deadly deadlines and eroded economies. All my financially illiterate mind understands is “Spend & Save what you’re earning dumdum”; there’s no way at this stage of life where I can guarantee that I’d be drawing a salary come next June… One may obviously think that this guy has low confidence and you’re absolutely right, I can’t be sure if I won’t look for something that suits my area more, and the likes of me and my friends won’t think twice before handing the notice to the employer; apparently either we’re naive or have zero phucks to give, but that’s what the likes of us are- carefree, oblivious to ‘responsibility’ etc. And we’re not even millionaires to say ‘it’s no biggie if we don’t have jobs for some months’.

As discussed with some of my friends that share my eccentricities, all we see are people around us living the same life; month on month, year on year, like the performance reports you make every month. And they seem content, fixed sum of money’s coming in, need to pay those bills, taxes and brands, that the marketing people have convinced you that their products give your life meaning. It’s Groundhog Day or Palm Springs all over again, only thing is the people are content, and that’s what is required or else the society would crumble if people start asking why is it that one slogs 12 hours daily and earns 50 K at the end of the month while a person posing with a Pepsi can is earning 50 K every minute of existing. Who decides who earns how much?

There is so much of this world that makes no sense to some of us, but because our parents were horny one night we have to play the game of life, it’s quite expensive and sparing some moments, it’s like balancing one hundred light-bulbs on your nose and not knowing when that pain-in-the-ass mouse would put our tail into the electric socket and light us up like a Christmas tree.

Cheers to everyone living in the Groundhog Day, everyone of you are my heroes.

When cliches rescue your love life.

Love hurts… That’s the only time I’ll be using a cliche here. Love has become more complicated today. Why? Have we forgotten that loving someone means loving their flaws and virtues equally? Whoops, did it again. No more cliches. By loving someone you’re taking a chance that they might end up hurting you… Ugh…These cliches need to stop.

The truth is that when I’m writing about love, cliches are going to pop up. No matter how hard I try to avoid using them. The same way you will feel strongly again for someone if not already, no matter how damaged you are after your previous experience in a relationship. In case you’re happily in love, Kudos! People like you are an inspiration.

But again if you claim to be in a happy marriage/relationship how do you know that it’s all true? Why do I ask? Perhaps an example will explain my question better. Through a friend I met the devil in all her glory! She’s married with a kid, a loving husband and in-laws. What’s the catch? Her husband has no idea of the number of guys she’s screwing behind his back. According to her backstory she was a dove until she got married. Post marriage she claims to be “exploring” her wild side. So is it fair of me to imply she’s a terrible person?Absolutely not. Does her husband or in-laws have the slightest idea? Absolutely not.

I also know a couple who have been happily married for nearly 30 years. Even if a complete stranger spends a little time with this couple, he/she would side more towards my claim. You can inexplicably feel those strange content vibes in the company of such people and vibes don’t lie. What’s their secret? I don’t wanna know. Yes there may be things in the details of a happy marriage that would rear its ugly head and shatter the beliefs of a naive mind. All I know is that they have had their share of ups and downs and they made it.

Isn’t this nice? Hope and despair dancing in our mental spaces. There can’t be one without the other. So what is the point I am trying to make in such amateurish writing? Well as a survivor of 3 failed relationships, 2 episodes of unrequited love, (and definitely not in the position to give a pravachan on lasting relationships) I would say stick to the cliches. Whatever cliches you relate to, stick to them. Ignore those idiots who call you cheesy/lame/emotional nut etc. I’m sure they have unresolved issues in kilos.

Blessed with conveniences of today’s age, the number of ways that we can fuck up our relationships have increased exponentially. We’re one episode/song/movie/text away from thinking that our love lives should be in a particular way. Bollywood has ruined many relationships by promoting stalking and ‘ladki ka na matlab haa’. Whereas on the opposite side television shows from the west discourage people to get attached to another human being. Both of these side use cliches to reinforce their points, why not use their cliches as a measure to normalise our thoughts or reactions to a particular event?

Accept that loving any animal (including humans) is an incredibly tedious and selfless task.  A romance wala relationship will go through hardships and in such times use those pathetic cliches. When you’re at that particular life changing moment where you could fuck it all up, dilute that peg of over-reaction with some nice cubes of cliches. It may save you from a hell of a hangover. Side effects? You may call yourself cheesy later.

 

 

Now you know why God is pissed at you.

There have been many lectures, social media posts etc. on the concept of happiness and what it means.

I’m not writing this because I have figured that sh*t out but have made a rather obvious yet interesting observation. No matter what goals we complete or a wish that gets fulfilled, we dwell in it for a moment, hour or day and then our mind focuses on things we don’t have or in other words, look for Unhappiness.

I present to you this example, see if you could relate to it-

On a may afternoon I was waiting at the bus stop. I had no idea when the next bus would come as the frequency of the buses were quite erratic. I was just hoping that the bus arrives. The heat was unbearable. After 10-15 minutes the bus arrived. I boarded the bus. A moment of happiness. The next moment, I was looking for a place to sit. The bus was full. My mind started to complain and curse. I started hoping for a seat. Please God. What do you know? A seat vacates. I jump on it. A moment of relief. Then, I notice the harsh sun is on my side, toasting my nipples. My mind again started with the complaining and curses. Notice the pattern? I started freaking praying for the SUN to move over to the other side.

I’m fairly confident that you have been in many situations like this, but maybe have failed to notice it. I have no antidote to this ill-working of the human mind. I’m just pointing out how f*cked is the human mind. Or just my mind.

No wonder God is so pissed at us.

P.S. Read ‘The Subtle art of not giving a F*ck’ by Mark Manson and ‘7 Habits of highly effective people’ by Stephen Covey if you’re looking for some mental clarity on life and its challenges.