funny · human nature · short stories

TOAST AND THE MARTIAN – 1

A meeting between Marvin Nate and a Martian who’s just been on our terra for a couple of hours.

 

M – Greetings, man.

 

MN – Hey there, you don’t look scary at all.

 

M – What is scary? ‘Apolome’, I’m still learning the ‘jinglish’ langua and why would you think I am scary??

 

MN – Scary means (hand signals pouncing) Dangerous.

 

M – I am shappy. So I saw a square (hand signals square) shape thing appeared to be covered by this ground fragments that we are standing on, being eaten by a human, what is that?

 

MN – That’s toast. Toast is bread. It is made brown by heating.

 

M – What is bread and why is it made into ‘ Taast’

 

MN – ‘Toast’, bread is food (hand signals eating) which we humans make to eat. Bread is simple. Toast is more fulfilling. (Hand signals stomach)

 

M – Fulfilling hoe?

 

MN – Toast is crunchy, apply butter to a hot toast and it is a much more fulfilling bite than plain bread. Butter is another food product we make.

 

M – Oh! , An innovative species you are! Toast is interesting, a way of making food gonsumption a richer experience!

 

MN – Of course… or a way of disposal…

 

M – What?

 

MN – I had disposed some pieces of stale bread by toasting them and feeding them to my irritating cousins.

 

M – I don’t understand…

 

MN – Never mind, here come my cousins.

 

MN – Never mind, here come my cousins.

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